Thursday, May 14, 2009

A glimpse into my work life

Last year I was given (without wanting or asking) the task of property manager for the rentals we have at work. The lady who normally does the job was sick and no longer able to work. You can't really say no to your boss so I accepted under the notion this was temporary. Here it is almost two years later and I am still performing this job on top of all the other responsibilities I have and without additional compensation. But whose keeping track?

To say I hate this part of my job would be an understatement. It requires that I place ads on Craig's List, respond to them via email and phone, and show apartments throughout my work day. It's very disruptive and takes up a lot of my time, especially when VCU classes end for summer because most of our renters are college kids. Which brings me to why I hate this job the most. The people who respond to these ads are fresh out of their parents houses where they have been spoon fed and spoiled their entire lives. They have no idea how the real world works. Begging and saying please a thousand times will not get you the same result on me as your parents. I don't care that you really, really, really love this apartment but aren't able to move into it until August even though it clearly says it's available June 1st. No matter how much you beg I will not come in on Saturday morning to show you the apartment because that is the only day you are available. Markus hears me complain about this part of my job often. I try not to but just can't help it sometimes because some days it's all I hear for 8 hours straight. And, like how many times can you like put like in a freaking sentence? I get it that you think dressing like a rag doll is cool, that having as many tattoos and piercings that will fit on your body asserts you from your peers. You are asserting your independence and damning the man! And you are the only teenager who ever thought it was cool to do all these things. But have some respect when you show up for a meeting, even if it is to look at an apartment. It doesn't mean you are any less cool if you showered and showed up on time. Trust me, I won't tell anyone.

Today I came into work to find out that my new renters had climbed up on the roof that I strictly forbade them from by telling them "do not go on the roof", "the hatch is bolted so you can't get up there and we will know if you break the hatch", and "the roof is strictly off limits to you and your guests". Maybe that wasn't enough because the idiots climbed up on the roof and one fell. And now the parents who have coddled them their whole life are calling me to ask if we have insurance because they are going to sue us. Really? Did I force them on the roof with a gun? I guess stupid runs in the family.

Below is a typical email in response to our Craig's List ads & the response I would like to send but can't because I would get fired. And Markus would divorce me if I got fired and then I would be an angry divorcee who hates teenagers and would probably have to rent an apartment off of Craig's List.

*Name has been changed to protect the stupid.

Hello! I saw an ad on Craig's list for a 1 bedroom 1 bathroom apartment available, and had a couple of questions. Does the unit have a washer and dryer in it? And what is the square footage of the apartment? How far exactly are you from VCU/MCV? What Utilities are included?Will it be available for a June move in date? We'll be heading down to the Richmond area this weekend to check out some places and are Very, very interested in your property! Can we set up an appointment to come and take a tour of it? The apartment i was refering to was this one:
Thanks for your time! Hope to hear from you soon. Dave.

Dear Dave,

I appreciate your enthusiasm and all the exclamation marks! First of all this is a 2 bedroom apartment, not 1. I'm glad they are teaching you something in high school before throwing you out into the real world. If you read the ad (or maybe you haven't gotten that far in your studies) you will see that there is a washer/dryer on the premise. Premise is a hard word so I'll explain what that means; there is a laundry room in the building that tenants can use. As for the square footage, this is an apartment and you are renting, not buying, so who cares the exact square footage. Your futon, foosball table, and blow up doll will fit, don't worry. There might even be room to make one of those walls constructed out of nothing but Pabst Blue Ribbon beer cans after a night of drinking with your bro's.

Have you heard of something called Google maps? It tells you the exact mileage from point A to point B. So hypothetically you could type in the address of VCU & MCV campuses AND the address of said apartment and it will answer your question without having to bother me. AMAZING, huh? I don't even know how to respond to the last 2 questions in your query. It plainly states in the ad that water, sewer, & trash pick up are included in the rent. I'm not sure how you could confuse that for anything else. Perhaps you didn't realize they are utilities? It also states the apartment is Avail. June 1st. Maybe avail. threw you off. That is what we call an abbreviation. Sorry, there I go again with big words. Abbreviation means the word has been shortened, usually to save space and time. Something I was trying to do but have failed since I had to explain and type the word in it's entirety so your pea brain could understand.

You will be in the Richmond area this weekend? How lucky for us! Unfortunately we are not open on weekends so I will not have the pleasure of meeting Mr. Future World Leader in person. Perhaps next time.

Thanks for listening to my rant. I feel much better. Who needs a therapist when they have a blog!

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