Dear Blog

Dear Blog,

I don't know where to start so I guess I'll start at the beginning. I have been feeling a little overwhelmed lately and I'm not quite sure why. Nothing much has changed. I remember a few weeks ago feeling like life was great. I was getting back to a good routine of work, school, exercise, and catching up with friends and family. I had an exceptionally good day on Friday, the 5th. I went for a run with my friend Susan and had a great weekend planned ahead with Markus finally home! The weather was starting to warm and spring was just around the corner

And then my beloved Grandmother had a stroke on Saturday and by Thursday she was gone. I tried to compartmentalize everything by saying it was expected, she was 86 and had been suffering from cancer for quite some time. I knew there wasn't much time left with her but you can never prepare yourself for how quickly they deteriorate before death. I have seen it before with other family members who have succumb to cancer but never with someone I was so close with.

The days between her death and the funeral are a blur. And then I went back to my normal life but it's not normal with a loved one who has been there for 30 years suddenly gone.

I don't feel that immense sadness you feel when you hear about a disaster or see sick children on television. Which is what I thought I should feel. But I do feel something that is constant and every once in awhile it rears it's head to say she is gone. Or something will trigger a memory and then it comes rushing forward. I guess this is what grief is like.

Sometimes I feel so angry that I want to scream or hit something. And sometimes I feel restless and can't think of one place I want to be other than with her. I find solace in knowing that she is in a better place and with loved ones who have passed. But I also find myself being selfish and wanting my grandmother back. It makes me so sad that my children will not know her. She was the most amazing grandmother and hopefully some of her traits will live on in me. They are very big shoes to fill and I find myself thinking of ways to be more like grandmama everyday.

I also find myself saying the serenity prayer a lot these days too, which helps to keep things in perspective and realize there is something greater than me.

Thanks for listening. It feels really good to get all of that out of me.

This is one of my favorite more recent pictures of her at my wedding. She was so happy to be there and was always smiling.

Grateful

I'll admit it now, I was kind of dreading Thanksgiving. I'm not sure why. I am a "get in full spirit of the holidays" kind of gal. I try to enjoy every moment between Thanksgiving and Christmas because it always seems to go by too fast. I think part of my problem was that we had tackled too many projects around the house in the weeks leading up to Thanksgiving. My house was a wreck. I had too many things to do and not enough time (don't we all!). But the night before my father-in-law was to arrive, the Thanksgiving Gods sent me some help. Markus came home from a trip and my mom spent the night with us. We got everything done in one night and as soon as my house was put back in order I felt much calmer. Amazing how a clean house can somehow clear away my bad mood. Markus did the grocery shopping, and all I had to do was cook. Something that also always helps me get out of a funk. I think I was destined to be a house wife (hint hint).

The whole Thanksgiving weekend was wonderful and I had many blessings to be thankful for. I was thankful that my father-in-law was able to come for the 3rd annual Hakkarainen Thanksgiving dinner. We look forward to his twice annual visits all year long. My Aunt and cousin surprised us by coming up from Florida for the weekend. I had not seen them since the spring and our visits are always too quick. I'm also thankful that I got to see both sides of my family on Thanksgiving. And it wasn't nearly as stressful as it used to be when I was a child. And last but not least, I'm very thankful for the time I got to spend with my husband. He was home almost the entire month of November and I enjoyed every moment of it. Even when I had to change his bandage and pack his wound.

And I'm especially looking forward to the next month and celebrating the holidays with family and friends. I LOVE Christmas, more than ever now that I have my own family to spend it with and a home to decorate and fill with holiday spirit. I owe that to the Chenault side of my family. They were all about traditions and creating memories. And now I get it. When I think back on the holidays, it's always the things we did every year as a family that stick out in my head. Decorating cookies, having tea with Santa at Miller & Rhodes, going to see the Nutcracker ballet, and Christmas dinner at my grandparents house. And now Markus and I get to create our own traditions and memories. Something that makes me very excited!

An Apple A Day {will make you sick of apples}

Last weekend Markus and I drove an hour west to Charlottesville, VA and visited the Carter Mountain Orchard, where it's apple season. It was the perfect fall day. The air was crisp, the sky was blue, and the apples were ripe for pickin' (some of them a little too ripe). It was nice to have an entire day to ourselves with no chores or errands to run.

We arrived in {tractor} style and was handed two bags so we could do our own picking. But first we hit up the concession stand where they had everything imaginable made from apples. I opted for an apple slushy and apple donuts while Markus stuck with the traditional cider. All were delicious.

Then we hit the orchard for some apple picking. There were all kinds of varieties but most of the apples from the bottom of the trees had already been picked. So I was designated apple picker. Markus would point to the ones he wanted (being the apple eater in the family) and I would throw them down to him to bag. Our system worked well. We came home with almost 50 apples! Hence the title of this post. Markus called today to say that he had eaten 10 apples in 3 days and was a little over apples. Guess that apple pie I planned on making tonight will have to eat itself :o)

See below for Grandmamma Chenault's applic pie recipe:

Weekend Edition

We had a fun weekend that I will blog about later but while the hubby watches football AND baseball, I thought I would blog about a typical Sunday in the H household.

We try to sleep in but the dogs wake us up around 7.  Meeko wants to get in the bed and Charlie wants to go outside and play.  Eventually Charlie makes his way into bed and then this happens:

We Markus has a strict no dog in bed policy, but we usually break the rule on weekends.  How could you resist when they are this cute?

Then it's a walk around the neighborhood to settle the dogs down.  Markus is working with Charlie on sitting on command on our walks.  He pretty much has it down when he is in the house or yard (or if a treat is involved) but all bets are off when we are on a walk.  This morning Meeko and I left Charlie and Markus and made it 2 blocks before Charlie sat.  He is a little stubborn but so cute!

See, I know sit!

The rest of the day varies but Starbucks is usually involved.

I have been getting the house ready for fall.  Pumpkins are out on the front porch and ready for carving.  The planters have been filled with pansies and mums.  And, we even got a new flag!

After chores it's time to settle down for some family time.  Charlie loves his brother so much that he shares his bed.

Meeko, however does not like to share and usually kicks Charles out.

There, that's more like it.

What did I do?

Don't look at me, I was an only child for 10 years.

And now it's time for Dexter!

The End :o)

Photography & Family

I have been having so much fun with my camera. Best birthday present, ever! I love to take it out in the yard whenever I have a spare moment. I never know what I'm going to find out there. The dogs can be awfully cute when they are playing but it's so hard to capture it on film. My favorite thing to photograph so far has been my garden. The camera does the work for me.

Here is a snap of the basil from my garden. I have never had such luck with basil as I did this year. I put it in a galvanized watering trough along with some other herbs. I had to let it flower b/c the branches were getting so tall. It has been awesome having so much on hand, I'm going to miss it this winter.

Markus and I are having a competition to see whose tomatoes do better. I put mine in the backyard and he put his in the side yard. He is winning.

This is a hummingbird that lives in my Ficus tree. He has been in it for 5 years and hasn't fallen off yet!

Mom was watering my tomatoes and I just thought this looked cool. I tried to get a closer shot but it didn't come out that great.

The heavens at dusk. I love the way the light from the flash bounces off the lower limbs.

I'm having a hard time with people though. Can't really get the angle or the lighting right but I'm working on it. The class I wanted to take at the Visual Arts Center is full and there isn't another one until the fall so it looks like I'm on my own for a while. Which is fine because I'm having so much fun in auto. I can only imagine the possibilities in manual. Or when I can learn to edit photos beyond black and white.

Last week was my moms 53rd birthday. Doesn't she look good for her age?

I had a little get together at our house for her. Buz & Ned's barbecue, Baskin Robbins ice cream cake, and balloons.

I had the camera around my neck pretty much the whole night. I'm sure people are going to get tired of me taking their picture but I just can't help myself. You never know when you are going to get a great shot and practice makes perfect. Or in my case, decent.

Granddaddy and Meme enjoying cake. And, if you look closely you can see Jeopardy in the background. Granddaddy never misses Wheel of Fortune or Jeopardy!

Can you tell we are related?

Procrastination is my middle name

I am finally getting around to uploading our wedding photos. Which means I'm that much closer to having pictures on our walls and some sort of album made. Hopefully all before our 1 year anniversary. Did anyone else feel overwhelmed by this process? Our photographer did an AMAZING job capturing all the little moments of our wedding weekend. So amazing that there are over 1,000 photos and 1/2 of them are my favorite. It's so hard to narrow down which ones are frame and album worthy. Our house doesn't have that many walls, I don't want it to look like a shrine to our wedding but I do want to have some photos up. Maybe I can hang them on the walls and throw darts. Whatever I hit stays.

But seriously, I've started narrowing down some of my favorites so I thought I would share them on the blog. Most of my favorites are the day of the wedding while Markus and I were separated. I wasn't around and it's fun to see what everyone else was doing while I was getting ready. It's also nice to see the ceremony from different angles. I was so focused with what was going on with us that I forgot to look around at the details. So here they are in no particular order.

This is my favorite picture of Markus. This is while the girls and I were getting ready at the spa. That smile is genuine, so I know he was having a good time.

This is another taken the day of. It's good to know they were having fun. I was worried Markus was going to be too nervous.

Doesn't everyone look sharp in their suits?

I had to show this one. Calming the nerves before he walks down the aisle.

Meanwhile the girls and I were getting ready.

I love that this photo captures my jewelry, bouquet, and the flowers in my hair. If you look closely you can see Markus' mothers wedding ring on my pinky.

We are leaving for the ceremony. I'm so excited! Always the planner, Erin remembered to grab umbrellas. The sky was just turning dark at this point.

Mom helping Dad before walking me down the aisle.

Doesn't Dad look sharp? I was so excited to see Markus. We hadn't seen each other since the night before.

Meme, Mom, & Grandmama Chenault. Three pretty ladies.

I don't remember what is going on here but I love the colors. And Markus' face.

I was so worried the rain would ruin the photos but look at this amazing sky! And, my beautiful ladies in their pink & green.

Another great background courtesy of the rain (and Tisha's amazing photography)

This was taken while we were waiting to go into the reception. I think Markus is whispering "I need a drink!"

Mr. and Mrs. Hakkarainen! My face is saying "wait, that can't be my last name???"

This picture explains how Lindsay and Carlos are expecting twins in July!

There are so many from the day after session that I love but here are a few of my favorites. I love the contrast between the white dress and the aqua water and honestly these were the most fun to take. Our photographer, Tisha, even got in the pool with us!

The End!