Have you ever wanted to take the clock and stop everything around you so you can stand still and just think for a minute? Catch your breath and look around to see what needs to be done. That's how I am feeling lately. There are so many things I want to do but not enough time. But I don't even know if that's true. I think there is time to do everything I want to do, I'm just wasting it.
When I was younger I could waste an entire weekend sleeping in until noon, watching tv, ordering take-out, and not showering until it was time to go out for the night. Now I feel lazy and unproductive if I sleep past 8 a.m. on the weekends. If I don't check off everything on my to do list by Saturday afternoon and add some more stuff for Sunday. I feel like if it is nice outside (and by nice I mean below 95 degrees and not raining) I feel like I HAVE to be outside doing something. What I don't exactly know, but I know it's too pretty of a day to be sitting inside watching tv. So lately I have tried to slow things down a bit, not stress if the house isn't clean and the laundry all done. Sit on the sofa and watch a movie, in the middle of the day!
And it feels good, but I still hear the voice in the back of my head telling me the laundry needs to be done, the house needs to be cleaned, and for god's sake woman, the sun is out - go do SOMETHING.
I want to do so many things this summer because before I know it summer will be over. And this week is the last week of summer I will have with M. He leaves for training on Sunday and when he finishes summer will be ending and he will be practically living in another city - on the other side of the country. Oy!
How do you cram the whole month of August into 5 days? I don't want to spend his last 5 days on the couch watching tv or doing chores. And selfishly, I don't even want to share him with other people. I want to stop everything and do all the things we never got around to doing this summer.