It's the middle of the night. I'm 40 weeks, 6 days pregnant. I should be sleeping but instead I am waiting for labor. A watched pot never boils. I know this, yet when the storm hit tonight and woke me up I couldn't help but think, "where are the contractions?".
Markus has been asking me to write a blog post for a long time. I wanted to give him his son for Father's Day, but maybe this post will have to do. Before bed, we scrolled through the blog on his iPhone and looked back at some of the earlier posts I wrote. It was a lot of fun to read and look back through our first two years together as a married couple. I haven't blogged regularly in almost a year and I don't really know why. I just haven't felt inspired to write or take photos. My camera sits beside the front door, begging to be used. I keep telling myself I will take pictures when the baby comes. Hmmmmm.....
So, third trimester...and beyond....It hasn't been so bad. It is uncomfortable. With each new symptom I get I have to get used to it before I can settle in for the long haul. For example, getting up to pee twice a night and having to turn from right to left every hour was really annoying at first. Now I'm used to it. When the heat kicked in and I felt like it was 1000 degrees outside, I had to complain and huff and puff. Now I just expect to be hot and sweaty. I think I have adjusted pretty well.
I started prenatal yoga around 30 weeks and that has really helped. I use the techniques learned in class to give my body a nice stretch every morning and get the baby in the most comfortable position. I also stopped working at 34 weeks (thank you, Markus!!!). And as soon as I stopped working, I was able to sleep better and felt a sense of calm during the day.
The 1st 4 weeks I was home alone, except when Markus had off. I had my little routine of sitting on the deck with the dogs, reading, watering the flowers, doing yoga. Then I would plan something with a friend or run errands, take an afternoon nap, and make a yummy dinner or go out. The last 3 weeks Markus has been home with me. It worked out that he was able to have off an extra 1 1/2 weeks before his baby "vacation" officially started. We etched out a little routine as well, similar to the one when I was home alone. It's been such a blessing to have these last few weeks home alone together. I keep reminding myself that it will be a long while until we are able to be just husband and wife and to soak it all up. Precious time that not many get to experience before the birth of their first child. We have gotten to do things we normally wouldn't have the time to do. We finished the nursery and checked off all of our to do's. We have gone swimming, seen matinees, napped together almost everyday, taken walks, we even had a picnic in the park.
But, it hasn't all been sweet togetherness. The clock is ticking for Markus' return to work and each day there is no baby brings a little bit of tension. We both feel like we are wasting time that could be spent getting to know our sweet little one before he has to leave again. I have been telling myself daily affirmations throughout the pregnancy to help me focus on the positive and keep away the nagging negative thoughts. The two that I keep telling myself lately are "I trust my body" and "I trust my baby". I know that there is a reason he hasn't come yet. That he will come when my body is ready and he is ready to be born. Babies are smart that way if left alone, I truly believe this.
You hit 40 weeks and everyone is like "where is that baby?!?". Like I am disappointing a whole population because I am still pregnant. And I'm only 6 days past my due date people! I think that has been the hardest part for me about the last week. That, and counting down the days until Markus goes back to work and I'm home alone with a newborn. It's a lot to weigh on the psyche of a hormonal pregnant woman. But I am doing the best I can to stay positive and stay connected to my husband. I need to stay in that frame of mind if I am going to get through labor, delivery, and post partum.
The hardest work is yet to come. And the biggest reward is right around the corner.