Pregnancy...so far

There are a few things I would like to remember about pregnancy, and a few things that I would like to forget.  And hopefully what I would like to forget happens before we decide to have another so I can be naive about it all over again.  Ignorance really is bliss.  Of course, every woman is different and every pregnancy is different so I might have a whole different experience the next go round.  

Conception to 14 weeks
I had sickness in my first trimester.  It wasn't as bad as I have heard from other women but it wasn't exactly fun.  It started around 7 weeks and then magically disappeared at 14 weeks.  I don't think I'll really forget what that felt like but maybe the feeling will numb.  There are still some foods I can't eat because I ate them so much in my 1st trimester that it reminds me of the feeling of being sick.  Those foods are applesauce, pickles, saltine crackers, and ginger ale.  Godsends at the time but thinking about them now makes me feel sick all over again.  Moving on...

The fatigue.  You hear mothers talk about the fatigue that you will feel in your 1st trimester but no one can really prepare you for it.  I'm a person who enjoys sleep so the thought of being tired didn't really phase me before I got pregnant.  I just thought, "more time to sleep, yah!".  I compare it to being drugged and then trying to function during that fog.


The worry, fear, anxiousness, excitedness, holy crap - we're having a baby!  I'm sure all new moms feel all of these feelings, sometimes at once.  It was definitely very exciting.  But it's also scary knowing that your body is making another person and thinking of all the things that could go wrong.  Hopefully this part gets better with experience.  We shall see.  


15 weeks to 27 weeks
A friend of mine referred to the 2nd trimester as the "sweet spot" and for me it's been true.  I have absolutely LOVED my 2nd trimester.  I love everything about being pregnant right now, but I have to say my absolute favorite thing is feeling him move.  It's amazing and such a bonding experience.  I can be sitting at my desk having a bad day and then feel him move and it makes everything ok.  This is when the pregnancy starts to feel real.  I started feeling baby Finn move around 16 weeks.  At first it was just a flutter, then a little nudge, and now it's full on bumps in the night.  Last night Markus put his hand on my belly to say goodnight to him and he kicked in the exact spot he was touching.  So cool!


There are minor aches and pains that I have gotten used to.  My tailbone hurts if I sit to long.  I have leg cramps, especially at night.  I have gotten used to peeing all of the time.  My back hurts when I'm sleeping if I stay in one position for to long.  And then there is the tummy issues.  But it's all so worth it and I'm not complaining.  It could be much worse or I could have real health issues.


Tomorrow I am 28 weeks and enter my 3rd and final trimester.  This makes me a little sad because I love having the baby inside of me, always with me.  But I'm also really excited to meet him on his birthday.  I want to know what he looks like, what he smells like, what he sounds like, and smother him in hugs and kisses.  I am also excited to see Markus become a father.  I can't wait to see him hold his son for the first time and see him blossom into a dad.


In just 3 short months our lives will be forever changed and I will finally be a mother to my baby boy.  No longer a family of two as baby makes three. 

To my baby boy

I have been a "mommy" to our fuzzy male children for quite some time now and we refer to Charlie & Meeko as "the boys".  But come June there will be a new boy in our lives.  We found out what we already suspected, that you are indeed a boy.  My baby boy.  I hope your furry brothers will love you as much as we already do.

I feel so connected to you know and can already picture what you are going to look like.  Your profile in the ultrasound was so cute and showed you sucking your thumb.  I can't wait to meet you in June, but for now I'm content with having you swimming around in my tummy, giving me little kicks to let me know you are okay. 

Now that we know you are a boy, I have ideas swimming around in my head for baby names and nursery ideas.  I hope you like what we come up with.  For now we are calling you Finn.  I have been talking & singing to you lately.  I hope you can hear me, although my singing voice isn't as good as your Granma's.  Your daddy has been lying his head on my tummy to see if he can feel you, and he kisses you in my belly every chance he gets.  You are already so loved by all of your family and we are all looking forward to meeting you in June.  

You are 6 inches long and weigh 10 ounces at 19 weeks.  The baby book says you're about the size of a tomato.  I can hardly wrap my head around that!  

Keep growing, little man.  We are halfway there.  

Love,

Your mommy

The beginning

Week Four - 10/3/10


{I wrote this to Baby H the weekend we found out we were pregnant.  I wanted to capture what I was feeling so that I could remember that magical feeling forever}


Dear baby,

I can't believe you are finally happening.  I have been dreaming about you for what feels like my whole life.  I am not a patient person but I knew this was something I had to wait for.  I had to be ready, your dad had to be ready, and our life together had to be ready.  Even though I know you are never really ready for something this big, I am ready.

I knew you were with me even before you could tell me.  You made me very tired just 1 week after we made you.  5 days after that first feeling I came home and confirmed it with a pregnancy test, even though it was too early (mommy does not have patience).  Your dad was watching a show on planes when I handed him the test.  He asked if it is was for real and I said yes.  We both started crying and touched my belly.  We are both so happy to have you with us.

We went to your Grandpa Ukki's house this weekend to meet your cousin Kyle.  We had to keep you a secret, which was very hard.  I had to pretend to drink alcohol and sauna, 2 things that are very popular on your father's side.  I kept looking at Kyle and imagining what it will be like to have you there, too.  I can't wait to meet you, but for right now I am content to have you inside my belly where I know you are safe.  I'm so happy I get to carry you around for 9 months and nurse you to life.

When we got home tonight I took one more test to make sure you weren't a dream.  The test was still positive and I couldn't have been happier.  

The world has changed so much in the last 5 days.  I can't wait to meet you on your birthday.

Love,

Your mommy

Honeymoon {November 2008}

{This post is a little late.  Our anniversary was November 15th but I spent the day in bed with a cold.  I've been a little under the weather (I think it's called morning sickness) but I'm feeling much better!}

Most people reading this already know that we got married in Jamaica.  Actually, if you're reading this you probably attending the wedding.  Your wedding day is one of those days that stays with you for a long time.  And I hope by remembering the little moments each year, I won't forget.  But this post is about our honeymoon in Jamaica.

We decided to honeymoon in Negril at a little place called Rock House.  We had a secluded room with a private deck and outdoor bathroom. Our room had no tv or internet.  It was just the two of us and the sound of the sea below.  The weather was terrible.  Their was a tropical system sitting right on top of the island that came the evening we checked in and didn't leave until we were back in the States.  Our resort was known for snorkeling, with private ladders leading from our balcony right to the sea.  But we didn't touch the water the entire time we were there.  The water was too rough and the ladders were taken up.  We couldn't even swim in the pool b/c it was so close to the ocean and the waves were knocking into the pool.  But it was still perfect in every way.

We spent our days just the two of us lounging on the deck reading, sleeping, and eating.  You hardly saw another person because the resort only has 34 rooms.  It was the perfect way to honeymoon.  When we did want to be around people we went to the outdoor lounge area where their were board games, a bar, and internet.  Or, we explored Negril and it's colorful people.  The food was amazing...

As were the sunsets and vistas...

But the very best thing about our honeymoon was 10 days alone with my best friend.

Thank you for an amazing honeymoon in paradise and two perfect years of marriage.  I will cherish the memories we have created for as long as I live.

You have given me the greatest gift on earth and I can't wait to go on our next adventure together... parenthood!

Summer {Part 2}

bumblebees bzzzzzz'd

lazy dogs lay

Butterfly flowers...

And succulants grew...

In my secret garden

laying poolside

with twin babies

toy cars vroooming

and a quick trip to the city by the bay

All good things must come to an end.  Goodbye Summer, 2010.  

Hello, Fall.  I'm ready for you.

Conspiracy Theory

I think there is a conspiracy between the U.S. government and Hollywood to try and sway the general tv watching public into not having children.  Maybe our government sees another baby boom coming and thinks it will be too much on our fragile economy to handle?

I turned on the tv last night and a movie called Motherhood was playing.  Have you seen it?  It's an Uma Thurman movie, not her best by a long shot.  The jist of the movie is how to balance motherhood, self, career, and marriage, and how it's just not possible without becoming a crazy neurotic bitch.  I stopped watching after stay at home mom, Uma, has a particularly bad day and decides she is going to run away.  She jumps in her station wagon, lights a cigarette, pops in a tape of something she would have listened to before having  children, and heads for New Jersey. 

Maybe there have always been movies like this and I'm just now paying attention to it because I am in my child bearing years (at least according to society and the ladies in the grocery check-out line. Not according to science.  Science would've liked me to be done having children and expecting my first grandchild).  But I remember movies like Baby Boom and tv shows like Murphy Brown, portraying mother's as strong women who balanced career and motherhood.

Anyway, back to the point.  There is a lot of stuff out there right now that focuses on women's lack of control of self once becoming a mother.  There's a whole genre of "mommy bloggers"  that focus primarily on how hard it is having kids.

Another movie that scared me to death: Marley and Me.  I was so distracted by Jennifer Aniston and her tirades and fighting with her husband after having kids that I forgot the movie was about the dog.  I'm sure there is some truth to all of this but isn't there a good side to having kids, too?  Where are the shows about that???

Schools should stop preaching abstinence and instead take their students to the local movie theatre for a little show and tell.  The scene in Marley where Owen Wilson's character stays in his car longer than necassary after a day at work because he doesn't want to go in and face his family was enough to make me want to practice abstinence!

A girl can dream

Now that Markus is based in San Francisco and reality is setting in that we may be moving to the city by the bay, my new obsession is to look at craigslist apartment ads in our favorite neighborhoods.  Most in our price range are studio and 1 bedrooms.  Which, after owning our 3 bedroom  home for the last 3 years, can be a little depressing.  We will think of it as the "living bohemian" chapter in our marriage.  It will be quaint and kitchy.  I envision myself scouring flea markets and buying local produce from the farmers' market on the weekends.  And, on the upside, I will have no problem decorating an apartment that small!

But after laying my eyes on this listing over at Hooked on Houses, I'm not sure I can downsize.  I'm thinking we need to start playing the lotto!

The size is a little garish for my taste.  I don't think we need our own basketball court or au pair suite. Our children can play basketball at the Y and our au pair can stay in one of the 7 bedrooms ;)  But I will take that kitchen, the views, and the fabulous decor and attention to detail.  The molding alone makes my heart skip a beat.  Not to mention the panoramic view of San Francisco from almost anywhere in the house.

More photos can be found on the properties web site.