Goodbye, Summer

I have been reading a lot of posts about the end of summer and how much fun everyone had. I am not one of those people. Summer is usually my favorite season and I look forward to it starting December 26th. But this summer was off. I was restless. It was too hot and I couldn't find my grove. August was especially awful. I'm glad it's over. I'm hoping September will bring better weather, a better mood, and more time with family & friends.

Life has changed since the beginning of the summer. My perspective is different. One of the things that has changed is Markus' job. We started the summer in anticipation of him landing the job, and when it finally came my nerves set in. All of the what ifs and daydreaming about a new life together became a reality. Reality is waaaaaay different from daydreaming. Be careful what you wish for. It's scary and a little lonely thinking about uprooting our family and moving to California. But I'm also really excited and looking forward to a change. Our life has felt a little stagnant the last year and I am open to new possibilities and challenges. I just keep trying to remember that wherever you go, there you are. I think that is the key to making this move successful. I have to remember that if I am not happy with myself then I will not be happy with myself in a new place.

And so I am going to take the change of seasons and the change of our new life as a time to work on myself and figure out what is making me unhappy. I don't like feeling restless and not being able to sit still and relax. I did not read one book this summer. Not one. I didn't have the patience to sit down and relax enough. I didn't work on the house or take pictures. I didn't cook or entertain. I hardly went for walks with the dogs or did yoga. I wanted to go to concerts and I didn't see one. I blamed it on not having anyone to go with but I could have made more of an effort. And I certainly didn't blog because I didn't have anything nice to say. Looking back I'm not really sure what I did. And that makes me sad that I wasted what could be our last summer in Virginia (at least for awhile) doing things I can't even remember. I think when we got the news of Markus' new job I just froze and stopped living. It was like the news was too much to take and so I just didn't do anything.

So I'm getting all of this out in the open so I can make a conscious effort to work on doing things I enjoy and making myself content again. And hopefully the change will do me good. If I'm not back to blogging and taking photos in a few weeks, send chocolate and anti-depressents ;)

I'm Baaaaack

Hello, Internet! Did you miss me? I didn't mean to take such a long break from blogging. It just sort of happened. I signed into my blogger account this morning and realized my last post was my 99th post. Kind of odd I decided to stop there. So this is my 100th post. Pretty neat to think I have strung together enough thoughts to make up 100 posts on the wall. And, I think my first post was sometime last April so it's been {off & on} a year of blogging. Woohoo! I haven't looked back to see what I was blogging about last year. I don't think enough time has passed so I'll save that for a rainy day sometime in the future.

I think part of the reason I haven't blogged in awhile is because I'm constantly writing for school and I've gotten a little burnt out. I don't really enjoy writing. I do, however, enjoy blogging. I don't have to worry about punctuation or perfect grammer on the blog. Everyone who knows me knows I am bad at that and math. So, if you have come here for perfect spelling and interesting math problems, you have come to the wrong blog. Sorry, folks.

I'm also still grieving over the loss of my Grandmother. And I know that has something to do with why I haven't felt the need to blog. I've been working through my grief internally and haven't really felt like sharing much of that with anyone, except my husband. He gets me and has been so helpful in this process.

And lastly, school, work, chores, and life in general, has been kicking my butt a little. I am not superwoman. I cannot be everywhere at once doing everything that is asked of me or expected of me (most of those expectations are my own because I want to be superwoman). I know a lot of women struggle with this balance. I am learning to say no, take time for myself, prioritize, and slow down, a little at a time. When did life get so busy?!?

I hope to catch up in the next few days on the stuff that is worth mentioning. Before I forget the details of our life, I would like to document them on this here blog. So that when I am old and senile I will be able to remember all the little things that make life great.

No design blogs for me for a long, long time

Or I'm pretty sure this will be our first and last anniversary we celebrate as a happy married couple. Let's just say Markus does not share my enthusiasm for home projects and decorating. He tolerates a few here and there, but I think I have crossed the line. I met him at the hardware store this morning for what has to be the 10th time in a week (5 trips were in a 24 hour window) to buy some trim paint. And as we were saying our goodbyes he told me this is the last time he is buying paint for this house and I had better like all the colors. Markus does not use strong words often, but when he does I know I better take notice. I love you, babe!

Ahem, so it all started last weekend with an idea to wrap up the upstairs project we started last February. We needed to paint the back of a book shelf, hang a few items I purchased at IKEA last spring, and spruce up a (very) small bathroom. This included taking down wallpaper, painting, and replacing brass fixtures with brushed nickel. Sounds fairly easy, right? No construction or major renovating involved. I won't bore you with details but let's just say it sounded A LOT easier on paper.

This snowballed into projects in almost all rooms of our house and a lot more trips to the hardware store, contracting my mom and her husband for some painting and carpentry projects, and my dad for some plumbing issues. Lesson to learn for future opp (other peoples projects): Have a game plan BEFORE you start, write a comprehensive list of what you will need from the hardware store, and most importantly finish one room before moving on to another. However, I have a feeling if we had done all of this before starting Markus would have said no. Isn't there a saying "it's better to ask for forgiveness than permission"? Please forgive me, babe!

Late Wednesday night, after painting for 5 hours, I had the idea to get out of town for our anniversary. We both needed a break. Markus especially since he has been home 24/7 for the last 2 weeks. My mom had no choice offered to stay and watch the dogs while they finished the dining room. So we packed up Saturday morning and headed to Charlottesville. It was perfect and much needed. We came back a little less stressed and ready to finish what we had started.

Thank you to my wonderful husband who has tolerated all of my ideas over the last few weeks. I promise to cool it, at least until after the holidays ;) I will even do all of the holiday decorating while you are out of town so you don't have to see any boxes or put up the tree. What a deal!

p.s. I can't wait to share all of the renovation details on the blog once we finish. Before and after pics to come...

On The Mend

If I have been out of touch with some of you the last week, I apologize. I feel like I have fallen down some sort of rabbit hole and I'm trying to move towards the light. The last week has been a challenge. I was sick and in bed for 3 days, pretty much by myself. Then went to work for 1 day before taking off more time to take care of Markus. He had surgery yesterday to remove a cyst on his backside. He went to the doctor appointments before the surgery alone so I was only given a little information beforehand. What I thought would be a very simple procedure that would not last more than a few days has turned into something a bit more complicated. I knew something was up when the doctor came out after surgery to give me the blow by blow and asked "if I worked outside the home" and had I "taken some time off". I only planned to be out yesterday for the actual surgery but after the good pain meds wore off last night, I realized we were in a little deeper than originally planned.

It's so hard to watch someone you love in pain and there isn't much you can do. And in my opinion everything always seems worse at night. The pain meds they prescribed were not helping at all. Markus would barely fall asleep before waking up again moaning in pain. So finally around 6 a.m., after consulting with a friend of the family who is a nurse, we upped his dosage. It seems to be helping. Unless he needs to move, get up to use the bathroom, or change positions. He cannot put any pressure on his back so positions are limited. We go back to the doctor tomorrow to see how it's healing and so they can teach me how to dress the wound. I guess that's when the real fun begins! Google is not your friend when you have a not so pretty medical procedure and a morbid curiosity. We googled his cyst today and I almost tossed my breakfast. Let's hope my love for Markus overrides my weak stomach.

I would not want to leave you with that as your final image for this post. So I will show you some pictures we have gotten over the last week. Being sick has at least one benefit; time with your family. Here are some photos we have captured the last week. It pretty much sums up what we have been doing.

I made one of Markus' favorite dinners tonight. Lindsay and Carlos came to visit and brought his favorite dessert. AND his favorite team is playing game 1 of the World Series*. So I would say things are looking up around here :o)

*Update: So the whole "team playing in the World Series" didn't exactly turn out like I had hoped. But there is always tonight! Go Yankees :o)

Sala B: The early years

I was surprised this weekend by my aunt, who was visiting from North Carolina, with photos of me as a child. I don't have any memories of my early years, I can only remember bits and pieces. And those are probably from stories I have heard and not from my own memory. For example, I have no recollection of the family trip we took to San Francisco when I was 3 but I have the faint memory of my aunt's house and riding a cable car. Here is the proof:

Riding the cable car in San Francisco with Dad. Circa 1982

Me, Grandmama Chenault, and Dad

I also don't have any memories of my parents together and have seen very few family photos of us as a threesome. I love this photo. My mom as a young mother and my dad is so handsome.

Outside Auntie Viv's house, San Francisco 1982

My Step mom remembers this photo being taken, she says I was leaning in to tell Grandmama Chenault a secret. I was probably four or five.

And this last one is a classic Sarah picture. I was visiting the same aunt who lived in San Francisco at her home in Asheville, NC. I'm wearing her clothes and jewelry (the glasses were unfortunately mine) and probably bossing her around to do something for me. That is her dog, Calliope in the background. I remember this trip vividly. I was plotting the entire visit on how I could stay longer. Auntie Viv's house was so much fun to visit.

Auntie Viv's house 1986

The name of my blog is another nostalgia left over from my childhood. It was a nickname given to me by my dad. Sala being my first name, Sarah, and my middle name, Lisette, combined into one. I was way ahead of the combining names trend in Hollywood! B stands for bird which is what my dad, brother, and sister still call me. He starting calling me bird because I would pucker my lips like one when I was hungry.

Taking the plunge

I set up this blog in January but have been too afraid to post anything. It's a little scary putting yourself out there but I love reading blogs and think it's a great way to journal your life in the present. Recently I read a fictional book called "Still Alice" about a woman who is diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer's disease at the age of 50. I had no idea Alzheimer's struck at such a young age. It got me thinking about all the memories my brain has collected over the years and how precious they are. All the little details that make life so special and especially the way you are feeling at that particular time are so hard to hold onto. I am terrible at keeping up with photographs in a systematic, chronological order. Markus and I have a joke whenever we go somewhere meaningful to collect things and "put it in our scrap book". I have been collecting these things for four years now with the intention of making some sort of memory box or scrapbook but doubt it will ever happen. I haven't even uploaded the pictures from our wedding because there are so many and the thought is overwhelming. So this blog with be a virtual scrapbook of our lives from this point forward that we can share with our friends and family and hopefully one day look back on and remember what we were like as newlyweds. I wish I had started it sooner but there's no time like the present!

*Disclaimer - I am terrible at grammar and spelling. I had to Google a few words to make sure I was spelling them correctly. I like to type as if I were having a conversation, not writing a term paper. I am also from The South and use words a little different than most. I see this as a positive characteristic and hope you do, too!